How To Train Your Humans

I’m obsessed with this



How To Train Your Humans

I’m obsessed with this

(Source: epic-humor, via gonesherlocking)


contrary to popular belief, the main character of les misérables, is, of course, feuilly ,

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white boys’ haircuts be like


(via notenuf)




This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.


  • do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
  • go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
  • if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
  • look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
  • the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
  • works every time

"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really  annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING

(Source: kaliskadyami, via doctor-thorin-eric-winchester)





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If Girls Hit On Guys Like Guys Hit On Girls - Video


I’d be okay with it, tbh.


Here’s why I think you wouldn’t be okay with it. Maybe I’m wrong but bare with me.
I’m sure you have a type, yes? Some gorgeous female that you can only find in your dreams. Those girls aren’t going to do this to you.
But let’s start at the beginning, the video; This video is wonderful, it’s a great example, it’s a great social stand and I love it to hell and back for all the obvious reasons.
But there’s no way to fully picture this in a few minutes, there’s no way to video the uncomfortability it brings women properly.
Let’s picture this.
You’re 14 or 15, and puberty is transforming you as it does, you’re walking through the mall with your family and there’s an older woman trailing you, not Heidi Klum on the runway ‘older’. A general older woman, she isn’t sexually appealing, she’s wearing a stained shirt and her hair in tied back, she’s not wearing any makeup and her clothes are too small for her body type. (Now maybe you’ve already got a picture in mind because this is so standard. Not every woman is perfectly done up, there are some who are older, there are different body types, there are women with and without makeup, bodyhair, fashion- it’s all about differentiating the ‘sexy’ standard from a woman who prefers to go casual, the single point in which the video is not touching.)
Now you’re a 14 year old boy, you’ve looked at tons of naked women- in porn magazines. Or on the internet.
This is not those woman, this woman is much older and may have just rolled out of bed, or maybe she chose that style.
She’s following you and your family around the shopping mall, interested in you, visibly checking you out.
This old woman doesn’t leave you alone until your parents shout at her to leave their child be.

Here’s another scenario: You’re 16, you’re engrossed in a book on a bus, just trying to get home late at night. A woman, clearly intoxicated and smelling of marijuana and booze sits down next to you, trapping you in the seat, and blatantly leans over you, pressing her body close to you and crushing you into the wall. She puts her hand in front of your book and maybe even grabs it out of your hands as if you’re some doll to play with.
She insistently asks why you’re so interested in reading and tries to converse with you despite your extreme discomfort at the stench and the close proximity.

You’re 18 and you’re at the bar for the first time with your girlfriend, you’re trying to have fun with her and you two separate for a moment for some reason. As soon as you separate you’re surrounded in women, young, old, ‘attractive’, ‘unattractive’, women of all kinds. You try to tell them you need to get back to your girlfriend.
'What girlfriend? You have me, I can beat your girlfriend easy. Forget about your girlfriend. I'm better than she is, I bet. I'll treat you right baby, come with me.' Let's say, in this scenario, this is a type of woman you are not attracted to, picture her, you are not attracted at all, and you want to get away, but at the same time you feel trapped and her aggressive atmosphere is intimidating- not to mention that there were some women drugging drinks earlier on, who got picked up by the police. Your girlfriend is stressed over it later on, she says it's not your fault but is still upset that another woman had you busy for so long, and feels her femininity challenged. You're a devoted boyfriend, you love this girl and the last thing you want is to go to sleep stressed, with her on the other side of the bed, turned away from you. Oh well.

You’re on the street and a group of older, less attractive women catcall you, you’ve been having a bad day already. Things have gone wrong that day and you’re not feeling your best, you’re already irritated and you just want some relax time with the tv.
The women continue cooing and shouting as you walk away. It’s the fourth time that week. You start feeling ready to burst at the seams.

You’re at your job and you’re trying to work quickly. You’re panicking- it’s lunch hour, and you’re a cashier along with helping prep the food.
There’s a long line of people and you can tell from their faces that they’re having about as shitty a day as you are, and that they won’t be patient for long.
You scurry to do two jobs at once between putting fresh gloves on and ripping them off when you’re back at the cash register.
Suddenly a woman comes over. This woman is around your mothers age. She’s friendly, and she compliments you and tells you she only comes to see you, but the problem is that 1. This is the 5th day in a row she’s come. And 2, she stands at the till, taking her time chatting you up. She doesn’t seem to go farther than compliments, but she’s taking a very long time, and won’t pay for her meal because she’s busy talking. Your boss comes out and bends over, her voice hard and icy, and tells you to stop socializing and do your job if you want to keep it. You’re in trouble again. You ask the woman to move to the side where her food will be, she doesn’t go for another 5 minutes, instead distracting you while the remaining customers order angrily, displeased with the wait.

You join a dating site. You genuinely want to meet someone special, this is the big moment, the moment that could seal your future.
Your inbox fills rapidly. There are so many messages when you log on the next day that you are afraid to even try.
A few of the messages are nice and polite, ‘hello, I’m blank’ ‘How are you?’ ‘Do you like kids?’
And most of them- One specifically.. A very, very old woman. She is very revealing in the photo, she has a sunburn on half of her body and she’s got false teeth. She’s got a lot of hair and it’s turning grey.
She’s posing seductively in the mirror.
She messages you and asks if you want to be her BDSM partner, and makes sexual implications, and vulgarly describes what she wants to do to you. Her profile says she’s 65 and looking for a submissive partner that she can play with.
You delete it, feeling disappointed, and there are at least 10 more from similar women, with similar offers. More are pouring in.
You delete your page.

You try to have a conversation with a girl you have plans for. She seems nice and you’d already made up a bunch of scenarios in your head of what you’d do as friends, of having a close friend in her that you can trust, ect. You’re having a terrible day. Someone close to you has passed away. You need comfort.
You try to tell her how you’re feeling, you need someone right now. She tells you that she’s sorry.. And sends you nudes.
She doesn’t seem sorry. She tells you you owe her nudes now, because she sent you some, even though you never agreed to it.
You try again to express that it’s not a good time, and try to vent to her.. She stops replying after a few apathetic messages and says she’s busy, or going to bed. You feel the apathy radiating, she doesn’t care about you, it’s very clear.

You’re catcalled on the street again. You haven’t left your house in years without being catcalled or touched or ogled.
You’re sick of it, but luckily you’re so used to it that you miss some of it, and tune it out. Some. Not all.
You have not left your house once, in years, without being catcalled, ogled, or touched.

Those are a few to name the least. Don’t believe they could happen? All of these scenarios are true, and personal- except that the women I’m describing were males in the actual situation. I switched the pronouns as a point.
'Flirting' isn't the bottom of it. There's no trio of models and movie stars behind you. This is the real world, and no matter what kind of day you're having it finds you.

(via sigin-tarag)

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